word games

Lets talk about this beautiful thing called justice
I have a theory. And it goes like this
There is no such thing as justice
There is just what is just, and then there is what’s left. . . . that’s us
And together we are really just us, you and me decisions left to be decided
so be careful what decision you decide
because whatever you decided that's the decision you make
and what you make you create and what you create you represent
and what you represent becomes what you are
so decide carefully what you are and who you want to decide to be
because that is who you are
and who you are will fight for what you believe
so believe in what is just
and then "we" can become "us" and maybe eventually even though we are just us
we can become a little more like justice
so my theory begs the question. . . .
what decision will you make? who will you become? what will you fight for? what will you die for?
because between you and i . . . . we are nothing more than just us. . . . . humans fighting for justice

Update. . .

So. . . per-usual, i'm up far to late. But i suppose i can't help it when the inspiration hits. i wrote another song tonight, and i am pleased to announce that i have finished writing 6 songs for this specific project. i'm very excited about it. Some fine tuning needs to happen on all of them, but they are each about 90% of the way finished and that is the hard part. I'm very excited. i'm getting more organized in my thoughts and what not and that too is very exciting.
However, the theme of this project has shifted. without me making attempts to and in some ways inspite of me trying to. I was hoping this project would be more hopeful, and full of joy but it has definitely taking on a very sombering feel. It's a very dark sound and even though the lyrics are . . . positive. . . maybe. . . the themes behind them are fairly harsh. But i suppose maybe that's more realistic. perhaps the next project will be me coming out on the other side of whatever it is i'm in the middle of right now. all in all the project (the actual assemblying of the songs part) is about 70% of the way done. now i've never played the songs for people and i haven't figured out (even in my head) all the musical arrangements but a lot of that will happen starting in summer of 2011 after my YEAR ABROAD!!!! but i want to get all the material written before b/c i think it's important for me to have these moments cataloged. I might start recording as soon as June of THIS year b/c i want to get SOMETHING started and see how it all sounds and what not. perhaps i'll release a "single" to the five of you who follow me ;)
the point of this post was to inform everyone that the title of the CD will be changing, the Fall, Hugs, and Coffee theme will be taking a back seat in leu of the change in theme. the Project is going in a different direction and with that the title and overall outlook on this project will be changing as well. i love you all and goodnight :)

NEW SONGS!

So i was in the music room today with the plan of writing a few new pieces getting some thinking time and some alone time and just some piano pounding time. and i was successful on all accounts. i wrote what is possibly my favorite song so far today. it's probably the most simple in its arrangment and melody but it just speaks so clearly what my relationship with God has been this past year. its hopefully not self-indulgent and precocious and just honest and genuine that's the point. each line has a specific story behind it but it somehow flows together so nicely which i'm very happy about :)

Moments:

I'm a wander in spirit and in body
Never in one place for long
Yet somehow you found me
You met me where i was at
Fork in the road and to tired to choose a path
So you just sat down and talked with me

Son, please come home
I've been missing you
I see your broken
Please let me fix you

You piece me back together
All my rejection and shattered parts
You made me so much more beautiful
Than ever i was.

Now i can dance freely around this place
Grace falling down around me
Amazing love how can this be happening to me
For the first time I'm finally free. .. to be

Here in this moment
I surrender my heart completely
I'm letting go of me
Please have all of me

You're enraptured
You're captivated
You're astounded
Somehow forever
in love with me
in love with me
in love with me

Friends for Family?

So, as i'm starting to "grow up" and moving closer towards being a full-fledged adult and watching the friends i have get married, have kids, graduate college, start college, start careers start new majors, start taking leadership roles. . . i'm beginning to realize something. . . the importance of having strong friends. as i started to look around and observe the people in my life there a those that jump out in my mind as people i will only know for a short while longer and those that i will know for years to come, then there are those that my kids will fondly refer to as "aunt" and "uncle'' despite the lack of appropriate government legalization.
I'm also starting to realize what it means to have and maintain those types of friendships. People that will be there when my family can't afford to pay the mortgage, to be there when we are at the hospital losing someone dear to us, be there to help my own children (God willing) navigate there way through life and offer advice and love where me or my wife (again god willing) can't. There are those people that will be so influential in my life i will make sure my kids know there kids just b/c i know they'll raise amazing young people up. it's the difference between people that will come to my wedding and then the people that will also come to my childrens wedding. it's the people that i'll move mountains just to make an annual visit. there are the men in my life that i would call if i needing counseling and then the men who would call me before i needed it and help me through a tough time.
i must say when i look through my facebook friends list i have nearly 700 people as friends. this is a hefty number especially considering less than one year ago i delete 500 people. i think in this age of instant gratification and instant happiness, instant communication it's good to stop and think for a moment about the people that you'd keep in your life if all we could do to communicate was utilize snail mail. the people that you'd drive to see if you couldn't afford plane tickets. it's the people that (i know it's a disney channel cliche) maybe AREN'T near your house and that you CAN'T see everyday or . . . every year. but it's the people that have found there way into your heart and that rest heavy there.
find out who those people in your life are and do what you can no matter what it is to make sure you keep those people in your life.

1st SONG POST!!

Do you ever have those moments where you reconnect with someone. Like a sibling or an old friend. someone who at one point you were very close with and times just took you in different paths. yet you have the opportunity to reconnect. only this time that reconnection isn't a good one. the person isn't who they used to be. in fact they are much much worse than who they were or who you remember them being. or is there that friend that ALWAYS coming to you with difficult life stuff and you're just tired and weary from listening. you are the one they can always count on, but it's just to much. either the news is to heavy or you feel like you've carried to much of there burden in the past to listen to more. and you basically just want a break. life hasn't been kind to them or they've made big mistakes. your heart hurts for them. alot. you want to be supportive and be the listening ear but you just can't. it's to painful. well i wrote a song about it. about wanting things to be the way they were. wanting all those things you dreamed about together as kids to have come true and then realizing . . . they aren't. . . it's the first set of lyics i'm releasing to the public!! i hope in resonates with you guys!!


You’re not the same

Please, don’t tell me your story
I just can’t hear what happened
I know that you’re only human
But so am I

I knew you before
I knew a different person
I’m not saying I don’t love you anymore
But some things have definitely changed


Life takes us different ways
People rarely stay the same
Change isn’t always good
People never stay the same

Come sit down and talk to me
Lets remember times gone by
No really I can’t hear it
Please don’t try

I’m sorry I can’t be there for you
I’m sorry I can’t listen
I really wish I could help you
But it hurts me to bad

I will sit with you
Just sit with me
I will hold on tight
Please hold on tight

Just know I love you
Even though I won’t listen
Remember I love you

when will i get my miracle?

So. . . i'm up. watching FRIENDS (per-usual) facebook chatting, thinking about a girl, and journalling to myself. . . and now apparently writing to you, all my faithful followers. i decided a few days ago, that i should just write . . . alot this fall. i mean. . . ihave nothing to lose. i think i want like an 11 track record, but i think i'm going to write like 30 poems/songs/etc for this CD. just word vomit sometimes, rant and rave, and pray and record those thoughts. i realize that great ideas for lyrics come and go, but every once in a while i flash of brillance over takes me LoL and i usually am no where near a pen and paper and if i am (say in class) i'll jot it down quickly and lose it inevitably. sometimes i'll send myself text messages then forget about them and delete them. i wonder. . . so often artist are the most unorganzied people, how many works of greatest have jsut been lost in the hustle and disarray of our scattered lives? so tonight i'm up just chilling, trying to remember those feels i had earlier this year and recapture some of those moments. . . triumph and darkness. . . wish me luck. . .

Fall.Hugs&Coffee

So it finally begins. The 1st live studio album of . . . well me. . . It starts now, well i suppose it's been a work in progress but the wheels have started turning again, my lyrical writes block has passed and i'm back on track to getting an album out. . . finally...granted it's going to be at least one year in the works, but progress is in fact being made. I feel as though i've gone through so much since my last post in august. so much that i've thought about, and so much that i've written about. So much that needs to be processed through my passion for music and it's something that i most definitely want to share with you. my friends and family. It's going to be epic but in a subtle way. Small production yet giant messages about what it is i've been experiencing and learning. It's going to be largely acoustic because the focus is on the message the music is simply the vessel that is going to be bringing these messages to you. I'm excited, scared to share some of what it is i'll be sharing. but feeling as though i want to share my life experience with others and know that this pain i've come through is largely pointless if i keep it to myself. So. . . it starts now. this is the first official public statement (by public i do in fact mean the 3 of you that read this LOL) but it's a start. So please encourage me in this process. i've started recording projects on several previous occassions and i've even recorded several tiems before. but i feel as though i've come to a place in my life and a place in my voice and my depth that it makes sense to do this. to RECORD and save for eternity what it is i'm experiencing. Sometiems good ideas are great ideas but "now" isnt' when it's time to share those ideas. I've always loved singing but that doesn't mean i've sung well enough to record songs. you have to be able to vocal get a message across as well as artistically. i will always have growth but i feel now is a perfect time to start. The album title is simply yet original. Fall.hugs&coffee for various reasons i'll explain later. but i hope to update those of you who care and are interested when updates permit themselves. maybe some lyrics here and there. maybe some demo's. .. . we'll see how it plays out put i thank you for partaking of this journey with me. it's going to be awesome!